home alone

I'm home three days and the dissapointment and distrust is setting in.

I bailed on my good friend tonight because again I feel unseen and mistreated. My lfe is in serious flux. Things are new, raw, dissapointing, sad and scary. And I want my broster to be around to support me and talk me through. But no, it's not gonna happen.

Really it's time to find a true poly community. People that get the complexities and are not afraid to talk about it. It's time for me to figure out how to help my friend find ways to support my person instead of cracking jokes about how I'm into anything perverse. Yes, I'm kinky and poly and sex positive and I love perversion. I want to grow a life with like minded indivuals and find safety and comfort in that family. Certainly our culture tells us everything is wrong with who I am and how I want to live my life.

Fuck it. Time for this one to take a giant leap forward.