(s)hit the fan

You know when someone starts spewing out their ass and the fan is whirling, things blow up.  Sometimes it's a good thing, a catalyst for real change and growth.  It brings us to what is important, what is right in the world and what is wrong.  It makes us reevaluate what's important.

I want to live here and now with the people that are real and trustworthy.  Those that love me and that I love.  Those that live their lives and share part of themselves even if it's difficult and scary.  I want to be able to come to the table whole and full of myself.  I'm finding out what that looks like and it feels great.  No more will I live my life the way someone else thinks I should.  No more will I tolerate shit from people who say they love me and turn around with a sucker punch.

I've been following a blog by a poly triad and it's great stuff.  I love to think of a future (I know I know I want to live for today!) where my life can be full of love and people communicating their truths in a safe "family" environment.  I want that and have for years.  I have some of those amazing people in my life now.  There is fluidity and trust and honesty.  At the same time, I'm rebuilding trust with others and letting go of relationships that don't have it.  It's a good feeling.  A fantastic start to a new decade.

Don't bring me drama, self loathing, judgment or "your way as the right way".  Bring me you, in all your wonderful glorious truth and be willing to do the hard work and I will do the same.  That's all I ask, the rest will come.  Engage and enjoy the ride.