Mascochist's nose job

Yesterday was a fantastic day on the mighty Columbia River. Felice wanted a fast boat for her birthday so we got this hot machine that chewed up gas and gave us all a big fat hard-on. Along with the boat we got a tow package that included this big yellow and black blow up dog bone thing. Why in the shape of a dog bone, I have no idea?

We made a thermos of vodka lemon and soda cocktails and had great food, nasturtium nori rolls, fresh basil and garden tomato with mozzarella cheap beer and other fantastic treats. After racing around and bouncing into each other we anchored for snacks and enjoyed the solitude of the big open river.

Then it was time to rock-n-roll. Felice jumped out first and I pulled her along the river on the dog bone float watching her slap the water and the yellow gortex bone. She was laughing hysterically and fully enjoying herself. Next I was on the bone and felt a little afraid of Felice getting retribution for how I bounced her across the river. Thumbs up and we're off! More, I want more speed so thumbs up again and we take off faster and faster. Suddenly there is water from the boat spraying me so I just close my eyes and hold on until I get thrown bounce and sink a bit. Yes, I'm wearing a life vest and that keeps me afloat. My endorphins are roaring and I just want to go again! They pull around and pick me up and we're off again. I'm holding on tight because I want to just keep going fast. The water is rushing into me and I just relax and focus on my arms holding me tight on the big float. My face smashes into the bone and I feel the pain and shock of the crunch. Nice. I keep holding on and reposition my face to either keep from smashing my nose again, or maybe I want to smash it. I'm so zoned out that nothing matters but the rush. After a long while I release the grips and feel the weight of my body in the water. When the boat reaches me Tyler comments on how good my nose looks. Charlz asks if I'm bleeding. I'm so buzzed I can't feel my nose and don't care much about it. They help me in the boat and I thank the driver with a kiss. Good job, so much fun.

Today I'm a mess. My body feels like hell and my glasses hurt my nose. But I wouldn't change it for anything.